To whom much is given: thoughts on leadership and responsibility (2023)

My heritage is from the Motherland; it’s practically in my DNA to respect elders - both for the wisdom they’ve acquired through many years of life experience as well as for their contributions. I, like many others, am a direct beneficiary of their sacrifices. And though it is up to each generation to (hopefully) make improvements and build (and/or tear down when needed), we must give attribution to those who laid the foundation for us and whose successes and failures we’ve learned from.

Notice I said “respect.” I didn’t say “revere.” And frankly, some people - those who should take their responsibility as community elders seriously - are behaving in a manner that makes it difficult to maintain any respect for them. It is truly shameful and truly sad.

I’ve spent my entire adult life advocating. It’s a part of who I am. But there are people who were doing this work long before I did, and in fact long before I was born. I respect your accomplishments and your struggle. But that doesn’t mean I have to respect YOU if you cannot behave in a manner worthy of respect.

Your legacy doesn’t give you a lifelong pass on being accountable for your words and your actions. Your work cannot be taken from you, but that doesn’t mean you remain permanently on the right side of history. If you choose to sow hatred, discrimination, and division, you have shown yourself not to be worthy of respect, no matter what you’ve done in the past. Because LOOK AT WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW!

Thank you for your hard work, but you’re not a d@mn deity. You’re a person, and your actions have consequences. You don’t have the right to stir up discord and stomp on others in order to build yourself up. It doesn’t work like that. To whom much is given, much is required.

Some of you have become so full of negativity and bitterness that it’s sad. You are demonstrating that you are no longer worthy of a public persona because you aren’t willing and/or able to handle it responsibly. You’re spiraling out of control and you don’t even see it. Your vitriol gets us nowhere. If you consider yourself a “leader” or an “advocate” then you need to conduct yourself as one.

Many will read this and assume it’s written in reference to a particular individual. And in part, it is. But not just that person, as the “shoe” seems to fit more than one individual. This isn’t a shoe you should want to wear, though; these aren’t winged sandals to help you ascend. They’re more like cement boots that will instead keep you trapped, immobilized, and unable to move forward.

You need to go sit down somewhere and deeply evaluate yourself before you hurt anyone else.

---

Recommended citation: Giwa Onaiwu, Morénike. (2023). To whom much is given: thoughts on leadership and responsibility. Just Being Me...Who Needs "Normalcy," Anyway? [Personal essay.] https://www.whoneedsnormalcy.com/