Must be nice... (2023)

Must be nice


Must be nice to be so privileged that you have no concept at all of what it's like to choose to accept and maybe even embrace the you are. With all your messiness and beauty and imperfections and you-ness.

Must be nice to be so privileged that to you, the status quo is that *of course things in your life are supposed to be favorable - and for those things that are not, you have the privilege to choose to reject and HATE that thing.
You will never know a life when the world wanted you to hate everything about yourself since literally the moment you were born. A world where everything about you was perceived as wrong, backward, ugly, unwanted. A world that prefers you dead than alive taking up space as you are.
You will never know what it’s like for that to be the amniotic fluid of your entire community, against your will.
So of course you will never know what it’s like to examine yourself, acknowledge that you are who you are, and learn to LOVE YOURSELF ANYWAY. Your good parts and bad. Not to run from it; not to hide from it, but to allow yourself to identify with all that you are, whatever that means. Even if you know some of it was not what you deserved and was not helpful for you…you are here. You are alive. It’s not over.
I don’t have the privilege to have that kind of hate for myself. You see, I’ve fought far too hard to love this person named Morénike, even with my broken parts.
YOU can choose to dwell in that hatred; I can’t. I don’t have the luxury, neither do I want it. So stop shaming me because I won’t choose hate like you have.
As the song says, “I am brave. I am bruised. I am who I’m meant to be. This is me.”
I won’t shrink myself down to appease your hatred of yourself or your circumstances. YOU go be miserable by your damn self. And I’ma be me.
Deal with it.
#fearfullyandwonderfullymade
#notamistake #notdeadyet



Recommended citation: Giwa Onaiwu, Morénike. (2023). Must be nice. Just Being Me...Who Needs "Normalcy," Anyway? [Personal essay.]


Photo credit: MBN Drift site