To my sons (2014)

To my sons

My beloved sons
Your smiles are etched into my mind, my soul, my heart.
Your laughter is my favorite song.
Fierce, feral, deep love for you courses through my veins
Beats in my chest
Fills my lungs.
My precious sons
If only you could know how much you are loved
How much you are wanted
How important you are
How special you are.
My magnificent sons
I couldn't be prouder of you, my little African warriors.
You've literally seen and lived Hell on Earth
Yet you still stand
I draw strength from you
My wonderful sons
If only you could see yourselves the way I see you;
If only you could see yourselves the way God sees you.
You are beautiful
Capable
Dedicated
Creative
Strong.
My fabulous sons
You are not what they say
You are more than what they could ever know.
They are not worthy of you
They cannot compare to you.
My brave and beautiful sons
You live your life so fully
Everything you do, you do big and bold
God's love shines so brightly in you.
My one of a kind sons
You are not of my womb
And that is a good thing
Because my womb is too small to contain the love I have for you
You are the sons of my soul, not my body
You contain the best of your first mother and father inside of you
You are a living, walking tribute of their love.
My fun-loving sons
I brought you into my home to keep you
I brought you into my family to love you
I never dreamed that I might lose you.
My growing sons
I know you think Mom and Dad are the pinnacle of strength and faith
I know how much you look up to us
But the truth is we are scared
We don't know what the future holds; only God knows.
Yet through our fear we are trusting
Hoping
Praying
Believing
Wishing
For a forever with you.
My awesome-sauce sons
I can't see my life without you
I have thought to myself,
"If something happens to them, I won't be able to go on."
I know that thought is wrong to have
For you, for your dad, for your brother and sisters...if I had to go on
If I had to cope
If I had to face my life without you
I would have to find a way
A way to continue living
But I don't know how.
My beautiful black sons
No matter what
Please know
Please believe
Please feel
My love
It will never leave you
Inside I will never leave you
God will never leave you
I love you
We love you
You are ours
Intertwined
Connected
United
By the love of our family
Forever.